FUNNY FRIENDSHIP QUOTES and SILLY FRIENDSHIP SAYINGS

ON THE FRIENDSHIP CAFÉ

First Top-10 List of Funny Quotes

about Friends and Friendship 

#1 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

#2 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

#3 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde

#4 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

Best friends are those who, when you show up at their door with a dead body, say nothing, grab a shovel, and follow you.
- Author Unknown

#5 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends’ shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

#6 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

#7 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

The art of giving advice to best friends is to make them believe that they thought of it themselves.
- Unknown wise person

#8 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabian Friendship Proverb

#9 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

I cannot forgive my friends for dying; I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

#10 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotes

I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.
- Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort

Second Top-Ten List of Funny Quotations

about Friends and Friendship 

#1 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

Two people are never such good friends as when they are share a mutual dislike of a third person.
- Unknown Wise Person

#2 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

Having friends you like who are like you is a form of narcissism.
- Laurence J. Peters

#3 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

Heaven must be an awfully dull place if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Author Unknown

#4 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

Everyone should have at least two friends - one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Unknown Wise Person

#5 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

A true friend is somebody who you call at 3 a.m. and say "I'm in a prison in Mexico" and he replies "No worries, I'll be there in seconds."
- Unknown Wise Person

#6 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap.
- Unknown Wise Person

#7 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

A good friend is someone who you will help you move, a really good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Unknown Wise Person

#8 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Unknown Wise Person

#9 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.
- Mason Cooley

#10 of Top Ten Funny Friendship Quotations

A fool and his money are my best friends.
- Unknown Wise Person

Check out the following three friendship articles.

Also see Sensational Quotes for Smart People

More Funny Friendship Quotes

and Silly Friendship Sayings

When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative.
- H. L. Mencken

When the average man becomes thoroughly acquainted with himself, he ceases to wonder why has so few friends.
— Unknown Wise Person

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your wife and I didn't hit it off the only time I ever saw her. I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me.
— Elizabeth Gaskell

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
— Unknown wise person

The sacrifices of friendship were beautiful in her eyes as long as she was not asked to make them.
— Saki

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?' I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
— Bart Simpson (written by Matt Groening)

Sometimes apparent resemblances of character will bring two men together and for a certain time unite them. But their mistake gradually becomes evident, and they are astonished to find themselves not only far apart, but even repelled, in some sort, at all their points of contact.
— Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort

I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.
— Oscar Levant

From wine what sudden friendship springs!
- John Gay

You can always tell a real friend: When you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence Peter

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

I believe in Angels, the kind Heaven sends. I am surrounded by Angels, but I call them my best friends.
- Unknown wise person

Heaven is the place your best friends want to go only if you are heading there; so is hell.
- Anonymous

Great friends don't let their best friends drink Starbucks.
— Unknown Wise Person

Best friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
— Unknown Wise Person

A friend is one who knows all about you and likes you anyway.
— Christi Mary Warner

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell.
- George Herbert

Drunks do not have friends, but accomplices.
- Mason Cooley

Count your age with friends but not with years.
- Unknown Wise Person

Friendship is a very taxing and arduous form of leisure activity.
- Mortimer Adler

True friends stab you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships.
- Unknown Wise Person

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.
- Charles Caleb Colton

I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Cute Friendship Quotes

Some people make enemies instead of friends because it's less trouble.
- Unknown Wise Person

Fail, and your friends feel superior. Succeed, and they feel resentful.
- Mason Cooley

Friendship and money: oil and water.
- Mario Puzo

I might give my life for my friend, but he had better not ask me to do up a parcel.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

 

 Also see Funny Retirement Quotes

COPYRIGHT © 2011 by Ernie J. Zelinski

Author of The World's Best Retirement Book 
All Rights Reserved